Hidden Brokeness

Imagine that you have this beautiful vase. It is ornate, large, and has the most gorgeous glaze on the outside- deep complex colors, rich hues, fine detailed patterns. It is your favorite and not just to display, although people always comment on what a excellent example of art it is, but also because it is practical- you can display things in it, it holds water, is actually pretty sturdy. Since this is something that you loved- wouldn't you want to know if internally it was broken? Wouldn't you need to know that it is just a matter of time before the thing crumbles to pieces or more likely slowly leaks water? I don't think you would love it any less if you knew it was compromised; I think you would fix it and until it can be fixed you wouldn't use it in the same, you would treat it more carefully, more appropriately.
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As a church community, I am sad to say that it becomes very easy to assume that the people around us are simply as they appear. Either perfectly functional and impervious to interior faults, or broken beyond repair and the same way they have always been. One of my goals for this blog was to help dispel the illusion that instagram helps us create. We take pictures, edit them, and post them of times when we are smiling, surrounded by friends, creating beautiful things, being dynamite parents, gifting our spouses; therefore it so easy to assume this is the all-the-time reality of each of our lives. Even though we know our own realities are far more complex, messy, petty, and down right broken. Why is this? We are smart people. We know what happens when you assume something. Yet still we continue, the mother with the pictures of at home crafts must be patient and brilliant all the time. The couple affirming and snuggling must have got the marriage thing down pat. The teenager who post scriptures must be impervious to peer pressure. The boy complaining always must never appreciate his blessings. But this is not so.
But these illusion, these assumptions keep us from seeing the better, deeper truths. It keeps us out and away from each other. In church this is rampant. This place- this church community- should be where we can all be open and honest and free to communicate our brokenness. To bring it from hiding, knowing that hidden brokenness doesn't get healing. When we hide our cracks it is too easy to assume we can continue to hold water, continue to walk around isolated from people who likely are the same.
I think there are two major things are play here: the first being that it is scary as hell to tell the people around you that you aren't as together as you seem. It is takes such courage to say, "I am smiling on camera, but I was yelling a minute ago." or "This marriage thing is hard, and I don't know what I am doing." or "I hope I am not trying my best to be a good parent, because this is going terribly wrong." or "I thought I had this addiction beat, but it keeps whispering my name and I am not sure how much longer I will ignore it." Those are some of the bravest words. They take such power and guts and trust.
And that is the second thing at play. Trust. I am not here to bash church or the church community; these I love. I am here to say I am going to be a part of a change to make this place a safer place for people to show their brokenness and pray like heck that God can use me and transform and heal. There is no other place that is [could be, will be] safer to open ones self up for healing. God's grace is big and powerful and we have all received it. We just forget. We forget that we too are [were/ will be] in great need of his forgiveness. We forget that those people around us who seem perfect have in fact been touched by healing, will be again touched, and might now be touched with pain and hurt and self-induced foolishness. We are all here at the base of the cross. And we are all in need of healing.